Some of you may know that my car is both delocked and dehandled (I wouldn't have done this personally but it came like it). Now, the passenger door popper doesn't work. It stopped working a while ago and to be honest, it's been on my to-do fix-it list but I never seemed to get around to it. So, only the driver's side popper works so you have to lean across and open the door for any passengers.
Anyhoo.
Just popped out to the village shop to get our usual Friday treat of bacon rolls etc. etc. Come back out to my car and push the drivers door popper.
Nothing.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU F*CKING C*NT!!!!!!!!!!!", at the top of my voice got some strange and filthy looks but did nothing to resolve the problem.
Now, the boot is delocked and dehandled as well, but luckily the keyfob works as a popper so I open up the boot. Unfortunately, not even an anorexic Ethopian would fit in the miniscule gap between the two Cobra buckets, so I wasn't going to be able to get in the seat from the boot. There was nothing else for it, I was going to have to try to reach the door handle.
Oh great. Some construction worker c*nts are watching me from their Escort van.
Them:
popcorn:
Me:
This is going to be tight. I assume the form of a snake, slithering over the strut brace and around the sub box like I'm auditioning as a stunt double for Anaconda 3. I try to get as much of my body between the seats as I can. Damn. Even a snake can't fit.
Do you know in the movies, where it's a life or death situation and a person is reaching for something that's almost out of reach, and the director will play on that to build tension? That's what it was like.
I reach for the handle.
Damn, can't reach.
Breathe in a bit.
Still can't reach.
Right. I will myself down to the width of an envelope, crush my shoulder out of shape, gurn like I'm giving birth and really go for it.
Got it. Sigh of relief...then I pull it.
Nothing.
"OHHHHHH....SSSHHHH*****TTTTT!!!". Forgot I set the car's deadlocks when I parked it up. Now not even the internal door handles will open it.
I sit there for a moment, breathing a heavy, exasperated breath, feeling almost phsyically sick.
Hang on...
Wait a minute...
I don't remember...
I look down at the keyfob in my hand and press the unlock button.
Brrrrrrrrr-click.
I hadn't unlocked the b*stard car, had I?!?! Talk about feeling a tw*t. Pull myself out of the boot and try the door. Works perfectly.
The only saving grace is that as far as I can see, there's no way for Sharon to make an humiliating title out of this...I hope.
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great story 
If it has tyres or testicles - its trouble
Gary
Originally Posted by Sharon
sods law lol 
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